He leads me

Last Saturday we spent most of the night praying for each other. I seem to be at one of those points where I know where I want to be: much closer to God. I'm seeing my desperate need for Jesus. I feel like I know where I'm going, however totally lost on how to get there. It's so frustrating to feel like you're desperate to move forward but helpless and lost as far as actually making progress in concerned. Also feeling weak and worried and susceptible to falling. Well everyone was praying for me and encouraging me by reminding me that God's in control. Even if I'm not sure how to get where I want to be He is leading. I don't remember exactly what they said but it gave me this picture of being led through the dense jungle by Jesus. Like He's breaking the trail with one arm and with the other is holding my hand. The only thorns come my way are those He's allowed. As long as I hold His hand I don't need to see where I'm going or be able to find my way out.

It was a beautiful picture.......which I promptly forgot as soon as this week hit me. Still feeling no forward motion in my walk with God. In addition I am actually, literally penniless. I get paid on Wednesday so normally this wouldn't be too big of a problem. However, my checking account was over-drawn by two dollars and some odd cents. I've got one of those accounts where the bank charges me every day till I pay up. By Wednesday that would've been my entire paycheck. So I was stressing out and very nearly crying over my sad state (two dollars has never felt so impossibly huge) when Erick came to the bank to see Hannah. We both sat at her customer service desk while she finished up the day's business on the phone. He didn't know what was wrong but tried to cheer me up till I worked up the courage to ask him for the huge sum that I owed the bank. Of course he gladly gave it. Everything's alright and just like that I'm saved for the rest of the week. Sad how two dollars made me forget so quickly such a beautiful picture of Jesus leading me. I think I must really be an adult now. :S

Well today after going for a run (there's snow on the peaks above the tree line!) I sat and read my Bible and God showed me this:

"I will lead the blind by a they do not
know,
In paths they do not know I will guide
them.
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains.
These things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone."
~ Isaiah 42:16

God help me learn to trust You to do this for me......