trusting & tithing

I ran today. Running always helps me think, pray, get things back in perspective, listen to God, and trust Him.

Some thoughts.

I was once upon a time very good at tithing. (Giving 10% of all my money to God.) I thought I was pretty good at believing the Biblical principal that if I did this God would bless it. Well adult life is....harder than I had anticipated. I tithed faithfully right up till I became fully independent of my parents in January. Suddenly along with rent and phone I was also paying for both health and car insurance.

Arg. I had looked forward to the thought of being so "grown up" but it took about two days for the rosyness to be utterly annihilated. Anyway my faithfulness to tithe sputtered down to not much. I began paying bills first and then giving God my leftovers. :s This, I'm realizing, was not a good idea. Though I now have a better, higher paying job with benefits, I struggle more financially and I shouldn't. Also I'm leaving for Paris on a mission trip in less than two weeks and though the trip is cheaper than most I've been on, I've had much more trouble raising the money. Hmmm...... seems like trusting God enough to tithe is not so optional as I had attempted to make it.

Maybe trusting God in general isn't so optional as I try to make it either. (Yes, I'm stating the obvious, sorry.) There are a lot of areas where I've let fear in and have pulled back from Him. Most of those areas have been about as successful as the finances. Especially relationships. I've grown very afraid of being hurt and put up some of the same old walls I had up in my early teens. It's working about as well as it did then. :s

I gotta get over this bad trend.....