thoughts

i think i can't wait
the time to live is now
how will i do this life?

the morals they taught me
still ringing in my ears
a harsh scrape
the taste of sour
was it all hypocrisy
or was it an honest attempt?
a mixed bag
not mine to know
who am i?

but i open my windows and look out
past the gilded cages of the west
past the frantic attempts of the fanatics
past the cripple in the streets
the infant just lost to starvation
and the desperate drunk with no home
will i close my eyes?

can i close my eyes to the child prostitute?
the forgotten sweatshop employee
or the desperate saudi housewife?
what about the abandoned baby girl
or the tired teenager considering an abortion?
a boy was just sold into slavery for the price of my jeans
while an african family is shattered by aids
and a successful businessman just killed himself
where do i stand in this mess?

shall i blind myself to a tortured world
while i spend my energy on attaining righteous perfection
meanwhile buying my careful image with blood money?
will i stand before god apologetic in the end
because i wasn't that poster child?
what touches his heart?

what then will i do?
things heat up fast and the time to act
cannot be allowed to pass me by unconscious
something in me wants more than just to keep my balance
in this rapidly changing culture of consumption
what if i didn't live for myself?

"i'm sorry i didn't feed you,
couldn't pause to offer a sip of cold water"
don't let me be caught speaking these words
at the gates of eternity