oh dear

I do believe it's been awhile since I last blogged. Four months actually. I know, it's a bit excessive. I however, am under the impression that I have a very good excuse.

I have spent the summer house-sitting. In a basement. Without internet. The fish decided to become anorexic and died. Not cool. I tried everything, I sweet talked it, cleaned it's water, dropped food near it, and I do believe there was more than one desperate prayer sent to Heaven on that stupid fish's account. Nothing worked and now it's dead. I flushed it down the toilet. At least the dogs are still alive and the plants mostly are. Ben moved back in today so if the plants finish dying before his mom gets back well.....

My bestfriend/roommate got married. Eloped actually. That was a lot of craziness when the news hit the presses. No more will be said of this. But her husband is quite nice and I like him lots. Anyone else and I would've had to drug her and take her to a faraway country or something equally drastic. I am 23 so it's not like Marie is the first friend to get married, but it's excessively different and weirder when it's your best friend and she's three years younger than you.

I have also managed to fix a lot of relationships this summer that I had thought were unfixable. In the process I've been very humbled and learned (once again) how bankrupt I am when it comes to relationships. However, this time around I think possibly I'm seeing myself grow so this is encouraging. God taught me a lot about having mercy on myself last winter and about grace. This summer I learned to apply the same to other people. Possibly grace is not complete until a person is able to apply it both to themselves and to those around them? And those who behave with the least mercy towards others are those plagued with a harshness towards their own faults deep inside?

None of us are perfect. Friends, parents, leaders, or ourselves. I'm glad I'm beginning to learn this now, despite my easy-going exterior I can be quite critical and unforgiving when hurt. This tendency generally screws up everything. Hopefully this is the beginning of the end of the character flaw.

I worked as a waitress at a Mexican restaurant over the summer. That was a trip; I'll never be the same. I highly recommend being a server to everyone. Aside from learning a lot of Spanish curse words, I have learned to fake confidence. Now before all you advocates of genuineness freak out, I should tell you that I've also learned a huge amount of real confidence. I also learned to care a little less of what people think of me. What they say is unfortunately very true: "You can't please them all." Some people just want to be angry about everything. I think these people should have to pay a higher tax for their bad attitudes and all the trouble they put other people through. Also people who don't tip need to all be forced to work for tips for at least a year or however long it takes for them to get it. Remember, not tipping is very bad.

I should've tried harder to blog, now that I'm back at it I have a lot to say, to much to torture anyone with in one long rambling post. So I will limit myself to one very important thing. I have completely changed my plans for the next year.

Rather than go to CU this fall I am joining a school of missions that my church is doing this year. It starts in October. The first three and a half months will be here in the States studying missions, the life of Jesus, and the Bible in general. The last three and a half months will be spent helping a church that fizzled out get going again in Mexico City. After the school ends I will probably spend the summer with my grandparents in Nebraska and then go on to CU next fall. I'm both excited and afraid. I don't exactly feel ready for the challenge that this school will bring yet I feel very confident that this is what God wanted me to do with this year. More confident than I've felt about anything for a long time.

Well that's my summer in a nutshell. It was actually much more insane than it sounds here. This whole year has been so insane that I can't keep track of time in my head. (Did that happen two weeks or two months ago?) The crazy life of me. Hey I also went from having like two people I hung out with to nearly having too many friends. I almost feel popular which is extremely weird. I've always felt like the one that nobody noticed or the one who could easily be forgotten or left behind. I'm not sure how to handle this. Very strange.