leaders retreat

We had our housechurch leaders retreat this week. That’s not exactly the best way to describe it because many of us (including myself) are technically not housechurch leaders. However, for lack of a better, trendier emerging churchish lable, I’ll be calling this the housechurch leaders retreat. :p

I really look forward to this retreat. The housechurch leaders are fairly close-knit group. This year we had three new couples with us, which was cool. We spent some time talking about being culturally relevant and still following God. Then Mike gave us a church history lesson of the last forty years. It’s interesting; historically waves of revival in the church always bring some change. Usually some people find that change hard to accept. As we talked about church movements that have taken place in the last forty years I thought of what would be hard for me to accept. Hmmm…… I’d never want to be someone who stood against anything God did. I quietly asked God to keep me listening to Him and keep me flexible.

We also studied 1 Thessalonians 2:3-12. It’s an example of how Paul approached his responsibility towards people as a leader. It had a lot to say about love and humility. That was the part that stuck out and convicted me the most. I need to love people. God’s done a lot in me this last six months or so. Six months ago I was too burnt and bitter to hear something like “love people.” God’s been speaking to me a lot about having Christ-like love for people around me regardless of weather or not they love me back. I’m not very good at loving so I’ve been asking God to change me a lot these last few months.

julie

My smallest, small sister got baptized today. Dad and Doug, the pastor of their church, baptized her in a very cold little river. So did her friend Molly. Julie is 9 and Molly is 10. That's kinda cool for them to be baptized together.

I wonder what God has for Julie. What will she do when she grows up, what will she study in college, or what does He have for her this coming school year? How will he continue to get her attention and teach her about Him like He has been doing?

I'm always amazed at how God can relate to anyone of any age. It's like He speaks your language. Not just your language English, Spanish, or French. But He can speak to you in a way that you understand. Like I guess, I'm just awed at how someone as big and important as God just gets us, each one of us, and if we let Him will communicate His love in a way our hearts can understand. Who is like Him?

joanie visits

So every year Teen Mania's interns have to come to Colorado and climb this mountain not too far from my parents' house. We all went to see Joanie before she climbs it tomorrow. It was strange. Here she is all grown up and has come to visit us with all her intern friends. I don't think it's completely sunk in that she's gone yet. So odd. Yep, definitely like wearing shoes made of jello.

blood drive

I gave blood today ..... not good.

I've done it before and been fine. Today I wasn't in a good mood or, well, not being very brave and trusting of God with a certain area of my life that He's been asking for. So I wasn't feeling very brave about having a needle stuck in my arm and losing a pint of blood.

Ok, what's wrong with my little human mind? I know that God created the universe and can do anything, why is it so hard to trust Him with my struggles? Things were easier when I was fifteen. God said jump and I did. Now I gotta analyze everything.....

nomads

Jacque, her friend Becky from the Honor Academy, Pistachio, and I went on a little road trip. We went from Texas to Nebraska, the scenery was amazing. Just kidding, it was less than amazing, but there was this pretty storm which gave way to a nice sunset. You can see pictures of this exciting adventure here. We showed up at Kayla’s house late (I think we did it in 13 hours) and she now calls us her nomads. I like it.

We went to Nebraska to visit another friend from the Honor Academy, Kayla. It just so happens that Kayla is my long-lost twin. We have the exact same birthday but somehow don’t manage to look much like sisters. I liked my long-lost twin, she’s really fun and hyper. We went car camping with Kayla’s church. (And wow, Nebraskan car-camping makes Coloradan car-camping look like a wilderness excursion. They had showers, microwaves, and flush toilets.) While being introduced to Kayla’s church I yet again had to fall back on, “Hi, my name is Jennifer and I did not go to the Honor Academy.” Over and over. Yeesh, I’m starting to feel like I’ve enrolled myself in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Then our Grandparents came to pick us up and took us to their house, also in Nebraska. We spent a lot of time sewing, watching musicals, and I am attempting to teach myself how to juggle. So far no luck. :p

teen mania

My sister Jacque graduated from the Honor Academy and my parents flew us all down there for the occasion. (This is why the blog has been silent, between finals and leaving for Texas the next morning I’ve had no time.) The night before her graduation there was a formal dinner where all the interns were presented with their honor rings. They have a commitment to each other to live their lives with honor. The second day was her actual graduation.

A lot of Teen Mania types did a lot of talking about living your whole life for God and living to honor His name no matter what He calls you to. It was great; I used to go on mission trips every summer with them. Hearing all those familiar people talk about living for God brings back great memories and was also rather convicting. I don’t think holiness is as high a priority to me as it was then. God’s been pointing this out to me lately as I read through the Old Testament.

Then we spent a nice week at my Aunt’s house in Dallas before we took Joanie to the Honor Academy. Between the two of them graduating from and just starting out in the Honor Academy and meeting so many new people – all going to the Honor Academy - I began introducing myself as, “Hi my name is Jennifer and I’m not going to the Honor Academy.” This introduction won me some odd looks from the people I met. :p

((it’s a very strange feeling leaving your almost-babiest-baby-sister at a campus for a year; kinda like having your feet incased in jello shoes))

camping

One of my favorite times of year just passed: Immanuel Fellowship's annual camping trip. I really like camping. It's so relaxing in a mildly adventurous sort of way. I love being out in nature 24/7.

As always, it was a very nice break from the world of jobs and school. I spent most of my time this year with Marie, Mike, Mark, and Sacha. Mark has been freinds with Mike since highschool. Sacha is his daughter. They are super fun to hang out with and they make me very hyper. Probably because they laugh when I'm trying to be funny. (I need that.) I laugh at everyone's jokes so I return the favor. ;)

God showed me a lot of things on this camping trip. Mark shared about suffering and God's love. It was really good. I hadden't thought about how the two go together. I realized that God has been teaching me this, I just hadden't noticed yet. The things he talked about made me cry (luckily where I was I could turn my head so no one would see). This would be only the second time I've cried during a church gathering. Didn't want to get caught. :p

God also showed me some things about relationships because Mike shared about that one night. (Too secret to tell.) And of course the anual orienteering race. Always fun. Mike put a four-hour time limit on it this year, probably because my team took seven hours last year and worried everyone. Anyway, grand as always, never a dissapointment.

bubbles

I just found the coolest thing: Virtual Bubbles. Remember that bubble-wrap stuff you used to stomp on when you were a kid? Well, now those of us luky enough to live in the Information Age can play with the stuff online! You can get it here, enjoy. : )

spanglish

Marie, Magali, and I got together this morning to read to each other. We read Psalms 1,2, and 3. Magali, who's first language is Spanish, read to us in English, and we read to her in Spanish. We're trying to help each other learn to read our second languages better. Marie and I definitely have the easier side of it! Written English is so confusing. Whoever came up with the rules for writing and reading English ought to be ashamed of themselves. Spanish, on the other hand, is very nice. All the words look on paper just like they sound, and the language seems to follow it's own rules better. We ran into quite a few hard-to-pronounce words in both languages. It was great laughing at ourselves and our languages. English spelling, arg.....

Anyway, I stayed at Magali's house after Marie left for work. Since we're fairly close to the same level of proficiency in each other's languages we had a great conversation in Spanglish. (I really enjoy mixing languages in a conversation. Though, I admit the reason I enjoy mixing is probably because the only language I'm truly fluent in is English.) We talked for a couple of hours about what we see God doing in Immanuel Fellowship, how He answers prayers, and God's faithfulness. We are both seeing a deeper desire in everyone to serve. It's much easier to get help moving, putting together a dinner, help with the soup kitchen, or whatever than it was a year or two ago. I've heard other people say the same sort of things. A lot of people in the church have been through some hard things the last few years and are coming out more mature. There's this deepening hunger to follow God. A lot of it is in answer to prayers. Magali prays for the church a lot, she always has. I also used to spend a lot of time praying for us as a church. It was really encouraging hearing her talk about all the prayers she is seeing answered. Magali says that God never forgets and He's always faithful. I'm reminded of many I've seen answered too. It's humbling....

Not that everything's all roses around here. However, I think God is slowly teaching me that life will always be a mixed bag, and I can't disregard the beauty of the roses because I get pricked by a thorne. As I left Magali's house today I felt so encouraged to trust God with everything in my life and to pray and seek how we can serve Him more as a church. I hope someday God makes me like that, and when people are done talking to me they leave wanting to know and serve God better.

unhindered 2006

Well as usual Unhindered did not disappoint. I always feel like I come away with fresh vision, and new hope that God actually can use me. I think this is my favorite of the yearly events we have as a church.

Friday Mike talked about dying to ourselves. Unfortunately, I had a long, tense day on Friday. My mind was quite gone so I just ran the soundboard and didn’t hear much of it. I’ll have to get this one downloaded onto my ipod and try again. :s

Saturday was great. I watched Veggie Tales with the kids during the morning session, went on a hike in the rain, and practiced for the drama we had planned.

Isaac spoke for the first part of the evening. He talked about being in the world but not of it, and about the balance between engaging the world and having friends outside the church and just blending in with everyone else and losing your saltiness. What Isaac shared kept me on the edge of my seat because he spoke more clearly on it than I think I’ve ever heard anyone do. He gave us two very good questions to ask ourselves. When was the last time I had a significant spiritual conversation with someone outside of the church? When was the last time someone hated me because of Jesus? I liked how he said to ask the two together, we can’t be off in our own world and leave the lost to rot, however we have to be salt and light and Jesus said people would hate us because of Him. I can’t quite explain it but the two questions make me feel both more responsible to reach out and freer to be myself and be real about my relationship with Jesus. I really hope this will translate to my friends at school and at work.

Then we did the Obsession drama. It’s a bit hard to explain if you haven’t seen it; it integrates spoken lines, dance, and video, all set to the song Obsession by Delirious?. It’s about wanting to follow Jesus, settling for no less than real commitment to all that means, and being willing to suffer for Him. This drama always impacts me. Strangely the impact of it always comes during the actual performance, when I’m saying my lines and really meaning them (during practice I’m only acting) and praying that God would truly make the message of the drama the cry of my heart.

After this we had a time of silence so that people could silently talk with God about the drama. (This one always hits hard.) Then Joel stepped up because it was his turn to speak. I couldn’t imagine what he would say to follow up on the drama. He started talking about the Holy Spirit and how we need Him to fill our lives if we want to reach the world. We need the change He brings and His guidance if we are going to live any of what we’ve been talking about. Joel has one of the most gentle and sincere speaking styles I’ve heard. Though he speaks loud enough, he has this way of drawing you in like a whisper does. For the second time Saturday I was on the edge of my seat. This is something God’s been saying to me for awhile - since I was in Paris. We ended the night all sitting on the floor at the front quietly praying for each other and asking God to help us give Him all the things that hold us back from Him. It wasn’t a planned time, it just sort of happened when Mike said that he felt like four or five of us needed prayer and practically everyone came up.

Today Mike talked about spiritual disciplines and how to continue in what God had spoken to us. We prayed that God would help us live what we learned and talked about this weekend. We also prayed for the elections happening in Mexico today and that God would bless that nation with a wise president who can help strengthen that country and lead it forward.

asking

God told me something cool this week.

So I used to believe that God wanted to be close to me more than I wanted to be close to Him. So I knew that if I prayed and asked Him to bring me close and to teach me who He is He would. I prayed this prayer and I saw God do it. When I was a teenager and I heard people saying they wanted a better relationship with God, that's what I'd tell them to do too.

Well the last couple of years have been rather hard, and I think I quit believing that. It's easy to feel like I've gone hopelessly backwards. Very frustrating feeling. But (hurray!) in May God was so amazing! He helped me through a lot of the struggles I was having with Him. Questions remain, but I am no longer feeling crippled by them.

So what did God tell me this week? I was asking Him to restore what we had. Then He reminded me that He still wants to be close, and He values the friendship we had when I was 18. He reminded me that He has the power to change my heart and bring me close again and let me know Him in a new and deeper way. I'm so excited. :D My relationship with God used to be so real and amazing, and it will be again.

God help me drop anything that would hold me back from chasing You...

church, school & work

Basically at the moment the only things in my life are church, school, and work, but someone requested I post so I'll try. I guess with fame there is a public to please. :p

So as a church things seem to going pretty well at the moment. People are pretty envisioned for missions since our trip to France. It was great seeing people pulling together on both sides of the Atlantic to pray for France and seek God's heart for that nation. We have a guest from Saint-Germain staying with us now, Pierre-Elie. You can see his picture here. Well, technically he's staying with the Phillips but is is also a guest of the whole church. It's been fun hanging out with him. We're also getting ready for our Unhindered, our annual missions conference. (Conference is not the right word exactly, it feels more like a retreat except we stay in Frisco.) I'm excited about this year, it sounds like it's going to be good as usual. I always come away from Unhindered very envisioned to live my faith in a deeper way. Personally, this is the yearly Immanuel Fellowship event where God always speaks the most to me.

School, well I'm taking eight credits this summer (and working full time so the blog may end up taking a back seat, I'm busier than I was expecting to be) I'm taking speech, humanities 1, and a landscape painting class. So far I'm really liking humanities and art class. I've never felt very good at doing landscapes and so I tend to get bored with them. However, I feel like I'm getting much better at painting in this class. I'm a bit surprised because I didn't have much painting experience at all. It makes me really want to make a career out of art, I like it so much. I really need to decide what it is I'm going to college for, and what I want to study.....but that's a whole new post.

Work is the same as always. I was a secretary when I was 16 and I was so bored that I promised myself that I'd never do it again and here I am doing it. I paid more than Gap and had better benefits, so what can I say, single girl's gotta make a living. I'm a bit frustrated because I've almost been here a year and I'm still constantly messing up. Office work is not my nitch in life. I feel like more trouble than I'm worth, but fortunately the doctor I work for never fires anyone so I guess I'm not going anywhere.

So, to the person who requested that I post, there's my life for the summer, going fairly well I'd say. No worries, I'll try to make time for blogging; I rather like it. ;)

((I'd like to thank all three readers of my blog, and whoever left that comment, you make me feel loved.))

i did not die

I have wonderful news: I did not die in speech class last night. Surprised? Not half as much as I am.

Let me explain, speech class has been my arch nemesis since I was twelve and it was a required class in the private school I attended part time for three years. It was required every year without mercy. Being the super-shy kid with hideously crooked teeth that I was .... well you can imagine, it was my worst nightmare all year long. 8(

As bad as making speeches actually are there is one kind of speech that stands far below the rest and that is telling my life story. Or telling my testimony, as we Christians like to call it. Arg, I do despise it. Every single time it very bad, really boring, and quite embarrassing. (Okay, so once it went alright but that was a one-time freak occurrence.) I definitely freak-out more telling my own life story than when I talk about anything else.

So today's assignment was to tell about ourselves - to a room full of strangers. (Icky it's bad enough doing it with people I know.) Well maybe I cheated a little because I just told a short story about when I was on a mission trip to Hong Kong. Even so, I completely quit breathing just practicing in the hallway. Not a good sign. I did a little better during the actual speech; I was careful to pause and breath. Though I did everything else wrong; breathing kept me from passing out.

may in paris

Yes, I know, I've been a bad blogger. In my defense I spent the month of May in Paris with very limited time on a computer. It was a great computer - free month. ;)

I was very nervous about going on this trip. Last year was the hardest trip I had ever been on. I really hadn't even wanted to go to France at all this year, but I felt like God was asking me to so I went with many frightened little prayers.

Last year the few of us who went felt led to a suburb of Paris called Saint-Germain-en-Leye to pray. That was our goal this year: to learn about the area and pray for it. Surprisingly Mike ended up meeting some people in the area before the trip even started. A struggling pastor, and a family that caught the vision to pray with us. We have been told over and over on previous trips to France that the French are very closed to Americans and closed to churches that are not part of a larger, very well established organization. Two counts against us. However, we had a lot of friendships with French people just drop in our laps. The last week we were there we were invited into three different homes. We have way more friends than anyone expected. Very cool. God also connected us with people who knew the history of the area. This allowed us to pray much more specifically than we expected. We prayer-walked on every street and around every school.

While we were in France Stephanie came to visit us. Stephanie is a Swiss girl who's been working as a nanny in Summit County and teaching French classes for those of us in Immanuel Fellowship who went to France. She's become friends with a lot of people in the church. Marie and Mike (two of the better French speakers) have been talking to her about Jesus for a long time before the trip, she was very interested but knew it meant a commitment and change. While she was visiting us she gave her life to Jesus. It was amazing to see because we'd all been praying for her for months.

As for me, God spoke to me more on this trip than any other ever. I filled as much space in my journal in this month as I had over the eight months before the trip. I think I'll look back on this month as a huge turning point in my spiritual walk. So much happened. But if I start writing on that this post will get ridiculously long. ;)

prom

I went to Kremmling today and helped get my sister all dolled up for prom. She looked soooo gorgeous. Her dress ($7 from the salvation army, very cool) was floor length, white, and navy, an elegant combination. I put her curly hair in an updo and did her make up light, cause she's a natural beauty. :D :D :D (Oh my sad fate, I cannot post a picture because my camera is ancient.)

Joanie's going with a bunch of her friends and is eating in the lovely restaurant where Bobby very romantically proposed to Brianna and she gets to ride in a limmo. Somebody get the poparazzi on this girl.

trusting & tithing

I ran today. Running always helps me think, pray, get things back in perspective, listen to God, and trust Him.

Some thoughts.

I was once upon a time very good at tithing. (Giving 10% of all my money to God.) I thought I was pretty good at believing the Biblical principal that if I did this God would bless it. Well adult life is....harder than I had anticipated. I tithed faithfully right up till I became fully independent of my parents in January. Suddenly along with rent and phone I was also paying for both health and car insurance.

Arg. I had looked forward to the thought of being so "grown up" but it took about two days for the rosyness to be utterly annihilated. Anyway my faithfulness to tithe sputtered down to not much. I began paying bills first and then giving God my leftovers. :s This, I'm realizing, was not a good idea. Though I now have a better, higher paying job with benefits, I struggle more financially and I shouldn't. Also I'm leaving for Paris on a mission trip in less than two weeks and though the trip is cheaper than most I've been on, I've had much more trouble raising the money. Hmmm...... seems like trusting God enough to tithe is not so optional as I had attempted to make it.

Maybe trusting God in general isn't so optional as I try to make it either. (Yes, I'm stating the obvious, sorry.) There are a lot of areas where I've let fear in and have pulled back from Him. Most of those areas have been about as successful as the finances. Especially relationships. I've grown very afraid of being hurt and put up some of the same old walls I had up in my early teens. It's working about as well as it did then. :s

I gotta get over this bad trend.....

end of drama

At last after weeks of practicing we have finished the drama (still unnamed) I mentioned last week. It was fun working on it with everyone, but it's a relief to be done with all the practicing.

Playing a demon was also way harder than I expected. I've played bad people in dramas before, but trying to be purely evil was very tiring. Like the mental kind of tired where you're exhausted but then can't sleep when you lay down.

Today though, since we didn't have enough actors, I got to do a quick costume change after the angles ran us off and come back as a dancer rejoicing in Jesus' resurrection.

passover

Immanuel Fellowship celebrated the passover tonight. I'm not sure when the actual passover was this year but today worked so we did. We ate it like they did in Leviticus, not with all the traditions with which the modern Jews have incorporated. I think I like the modern version better with all the little added traditions because every time I learn more about their history, but this was fun too.

After dinner we had a dramma that we've been working on for a couple of weeks. It tells the story of the redemption of humanity. The drama starts with creation, goes through the fall, shows some of the pain and slavery of sin, listens in on a conversation between God and Jesus right before he goes to earth, and sees Jesus crusified. Well, that's only the first half, we're showing the rest on Easter morning.

It's kind of an amazing little drama. We only had a cast of thirteen to represent God, Jesus, Satan, angels, demons, and all of humanity. It mixes a few speaking parts, video, mime, dance, and a cool sound track. Jenn, Joel, and Brianna have done a great job making it happen.

As a church we've been praying for this night. We invited a lot of people to come see it since it does a good job communicating what Jesus came and died for. (And people are more willing to come to church around Easter.) A lot of the people we invited are not Christians. Many are comming back to see the second half next Sunday.

1st green

I went snowboarding today with Stephanie. She's a very good snowboarder and has been teaching me. She is Swiss/French and speaks very little English, and I speak even less French. So she tells me what to do in French and demonstrates then I, not understanding a word of it, just try to copy her movements. It's fun. :p

She took me on my first green today. (I've been boarding twice before but didn't have much time on either ocaision.) It was waaay steeper than the bunny hill. I fell down so much that I bruised both knees right through the knee pads I was wearing. But I also got to the point where I could just ride and ride without falling for a long time. Quite a feat when you consider how hopelessly klumsy I can be. I'm happy....and my arms are sore from catching so many falls. :s :)

april showers & carrots

Today is April 1st. As we all know (though I can't remember why), April showers bring May flowers. Summit county did have it's first April shower of the month today. However it was a snow shower, so I'm not expecting flowers anytime soon. I'm happy though, I like snow. :D

Anyway, enough about snow and non-existent May flowers. Onward to the next subject of this post: carrots. I went to a carrot party tonight. Right about now you must be thinking that this is an April-Fool's post but in fact all that I'm writing is true, strange as it may seem. I'm having an odd day. So this friend from work, Brett is celebrating his vegan anniversary. He's been eating "rabbit food" for a whole year now. In honor of the occasion he had a party, a carrot party. Every thing was made of carrots, carrot juice, carrot soup, carrot hummus, and carrot bread were all on the menu. Though it sounds quite crazy it was pretty good.

However, that's not the best part of it. The best was that my idea for the dessert was the big hit of the night. Granted, without the culinary skills of the Vegan Man it never would've happened, but still my crazy idea. The crazy idea that everyone loved? Carrot ice-cream. I know it sounds quite nasty but it was amazing. One of the better flavors I've tasted. So if ever you are faced with the option of having carrot-flavored ice-cream do not follow your instinct to run. Stay and try it, you may be pleasantly surprised.