learning to worship

When I was fourteen I was on the worship team at a church I used to go to.  At the time I was very prideful, every week someone would give me a complement on how beautiful my voice was or how pretty I looked on stage.  That was why I sang: to get complements for myself, not to bring God glory.  Really I was attempting to take glory from God for myself.  About a year and a half latter I got more serious about my relationship with God and quit singing on the worship team.  How could I?  I hadn't been doing it for God. 
 
Five years latter I still feel it even though I've repented: the guilt that my pride left me.  It's really hard for me to worship in a group sometimes.  I'm afraid people are going to hear me sing.  My best worship times tend to be at delirious? concerts where no one can hear my voice.  I guess it's a little funny, most people are afraid to sing in a group because they feel they have a bad voice not because they have a good one.  I still sing on the worship team occasionally when the chuch I'm now a part of asks me to, but not without a lot of prayer.  There are always complements to my voice which make me really uncomfortable.  I guess I don't fully trust myself. 
 
Last night a group of us were worshiping and God started speaking to me.  He told me that He made my voice and I don't have to be ashamed of it.  If my heart is in the right place a complement to my voice can actually give glory to the One who designed it.  And He likes my voice, He likes to hear me sing, and He likes to hear me sing well.  I know it's not all about how I sound when I worship (make a joyful noise to the Lord), but if that noise can also be beautiful that's okay too.  It was really encouraging to hear that from God, I've been so worried about my voice being a distraction.  But He designed it to sound the way it does on purpose, and He likes it.  That excites me, God likes my voice.  Last night was the best time of worship I've had since the last time I was at a delirious? concert.