matthew 22:35-40

One of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

Last night in housechurch we talked about what it would really look like if someone gave their lives to living these two commandments. I think, though no Christian would dare admit this, that we kinda consider these commandment optional. If we didn't consider them optional the world would be a radically different place. You would never hear of Christians being judgmental, self-righteous, hypocrites if we did. I say we because I'm as guilty as anyone. I've read this passage a lot, memorized it, even sang it, and I've thought I wanted to live it. But do I really? Do I really think it is all that important? Have I ever sat down with God and evaluated my life in an attempt to see if I live it? Looked at how I spend my money, approach friendships, and dream of the future? No.

God I need You to change my heart, tie these two commandments to it. I forget them so easily. Please teach me to really live like this....

continuing the prayer room

The forty days of prayer officially end on Tuesday. However, a lot of people in the church are saying they don't want it to end. Tonight it was decided that we will keep praying 24/7 through the month of September! God's done so much so far, I can't wait to see what more He will do with another 30.

reconciliation

One thing I was hoping would happen in the prayer room was reconciliation. It's happened, but not like I thought it would. There was one person I was not expecting nor desiring to learn to like; I've prayed with them a couple of times and God's changed my heart. Another who I wronged told me I was forgiven tonight. It feels very freeing to have these walls torn down.

when i grow up

The fall semester started this week, today is the last of three days of classes. I'm not taking many classes though, just a math and a science. I'll add a Spanish and a French, but I'm taking those with a different school so they start later.

Last summer and winter I was pretty sure I wanted to be a nurse and have been taking prerequisites for it. However over the last couple of semesters I've grown less and less sure. I do know that I don't just want to take the minimum amount of classes required to get into nursing school. I at least want to get my associate of science. It would give me more time to pray about my future; it would also allow for more options if I decided not to be a nurse.

What would I really like to be when I grow up? Hmm.... Actually the thought of not being in school learning something doesn't really appeal to me. If I could just find a job that makes me constantly learn new stuff then I would be very happy.

breaking bread

The housechurch spent some time praying for each other in the prayer room tonight. It was a good prayer time; we just did a spontaneous one on one thing. Afterwards I had the rather hard job of leading a discussion on the Lord's supper. It's something I've been wanting to do for a few months, ever since God suddenly gave me a deeper understanding of what it means. I've really been wanting to communicate what God showed me because I want other people to see how cool it is and enjoy it as much as I do. However I did not realize that it would be as hard as it turned out to be when I took the job/honor. I think it went okay though.

This is My Body....

This rite I've performed all my life
Once seeped in foreboding tradition
And clueless to any real meaning
Yet this is more than mere custom

The bread comes always first
"This is My body broken for you."
I take and pause before eating
What is this I do?

I eat this bread as a promise
It is my promise to share
The cross' suffering and death
I'm too weak, bound to fall always

Fearful, I've vowed too far
Now comes to me the cup
"This is my blood spilled for you."
What does this signify for me?

Though I fail, Jesus' blood never will
My promise I cannot hope to keep
Yet His promise will ever stand
This blood blots out every failure

Much more than empty tradition
This simple act defies religion
The flesh and blood of a living faith
Our declaration of His redeeming death

personal care provider

Over the last few weeks my new job as a personal care provider has gone well. I really like my patient and she likes me. However it's kind of stressful at times. One day I'll have so much to do that I go way past the time when I'm supposed to get out. Random things often come up which cause everyday tasks which I can do in five minutes to take me twenty. Way too much to do and not nearly enough time. Other days I get everything done very quickly and am bored out of my mind and racking my brain to find a productive use of the time I'm being paid to work at her house. I don't want to waste paid time doing unimportant things - or worse, nothing. Most of the time I can't leave early because there's that one thing I'm still waiting on, like the laundry in the dryer. Yet none of this tries my patience much, I try to see it as just part of the job.

By far the thing that gets to me the most is the Wal-Mart pharmacy. In my experience, the average wait is an hour. Big chunk of wasted time if there is not much shopping to do and very frustrating. A lesson in patience hopefully. (I'm still a little sore about missing most of my sister's birthday Friday.)

Basically my job is to take four hours a day, five days a week and make sure my patient's life runs smoothly 24/7 to the best of my power. It's a big responsibility, but very rewarding. It's teaching me patience, organization, responsibility, problem solving, and servanthood more than most other jobs could. Also my patient's a sweet woman, and her sincere thanks at the end of every day is always good to hear. She let's me know I'm doing a good job and really helping her. Overall I'd say this is the best job I've ever had.

baptisms

Today after church six of my friends were baptized in a river. I felt a little bad for them because the water was very cold. After the initial gasp of shock at the coldness of the water they were all smiling. I guess being baptized is definitely worth it. I was baptized when I was fifteen during a mission trip to Peru. Though I had prayed a prayer when I was five, I had really just decided to follow Jesus two months before the trip. It was on the fourth of July in a little lake in a zoo fed by the Amazon's water (yes it did contain piranhas, but it's relatively safe in the shallows). Kind of a unique setting for a baptism. I remember it meant a lot to me. A really hard time the previous year had caused me to rethink my relationship with God and realize that at best I only maybe had fire insurance. I knew I needed more; I needed friendship, freedom from sin, and something to live for. For me it was a break from the darkness of all that I had discovered myself to be and a promise to give my life completely to God. A declaration that my life was His forever. It felt so awesome, more than worth it in any water temperature. ; )

Julie's birthday

Today is my little sister's seventh birthday. For me it was a complicated day. I went to work, planned housechurch, and registered for college classes. Then due to complications with my job as a personal care provider I had to go back to work at 5:00 because the pharmacy had not had my patient's prescriptions earlier in the day. Arriving at Wal-Mart at about 5:20 I was in for a two and a half hour wait. It was very frustrating, I learned to play some games on my new cell phone, bummed around the store boredly shopping with no intention to buy anything, returning ever thirty minutes or so to see if they were done yet. I admit I got angry with them, two and a half hours is a lot of time for frustration to build. On top of that my little sister lives almost an hour away from me. I did not get home until 9:00, but I think in the end I was much more upset about it than Julie was. She was so adorable when she was opening her presents. My mom has to take a picture of each one and Julie's anything but camera shy. She comes up with the cutest poses. She liked all the presents I got her at Wal-Mart. So I guess some good did come of all the time I spent there today. :S

back to night shifts

Sorry I haven't posted much lately, my access to a computer has been sketchy since I moved. I'm last in line at my new house. Anyway, my times in the prayer room have been really good. God's been speaking to me a lot, and answering questions that have taunted me for awhile. He's been doing a lot in my heart and at the same time I'm seeing how very, very far I've yet to go. It's simultaneously really awesome and a little discouraging. The last two weeks have been exciting like that. I'm over being sick so I've started taking the late night and the early morning shifts again. I think maybe I do like the night shifts a little better. Maybe because I feel like I'm sacrificing more, or because it seems less conventional. Well actually it's probably because at those times I've got less on my mind because the day's over. That's all for now, I'll try to get to the computer more often this week. I'm not making any promises though. ; )