- scared
- not ready
- ready as i'm gonna get
- hoping to become more mexican
- needing to learn to give God more of me
- ready to have tamales for breakfast
- desperate to come back different
- challenging myself to pack light
- studying spanish
- excited
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
six days
The MDS is leaving for Mexico in six days. I am:
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
goodbye 2007
Yeesh, this is not a year I'm going to miss. Due to something silly I did last January I seem to have spent a large chunk of it messing up relationships. So much drama, it was truly amazing.
I almost had my first boyfriend this year. (We practically were, I was just to freaked-out to call it that.) I took him five days to find a new girl after I decided it wasn't going to work and now they're pregnant. My roommate eloped and i helped her. I lived in three different places and one of my friends has been homeless most weeks since august when my sort-of-former-boyfriend got them evicted from their house. Drama.
However, the drama swings both ways. There was the bad but there was also a lot of really good things that happened this year. I think I learned grace, both for myself and for those around me. God did a lot in me this year that freed me in new ways from depression and some of it's effects. I had a huge jump in confidence with people because I worked as a waitress. (I now think that everyone should be a server for at least a few months because of all that you learn about people and yourself and generosity.) I did manage to reconcile every one of my relationships and learned the lessons on forgiveness, grace and humility that come with doing that. I also am part of the MDS which has been amazing and way better than I hoped.
I think I've grown much closer to God. He's reminded me we're still friends often through all the ups and downs. He also spoke clearly to me that He felt cheated because I was (early in the year) only attempting a relationship with Him because everyone expected it and I needed to be close to Him if I was going to pursue the things I felt He called me to. So God wants my friendship more than my usefulness. Like any other friendship it needs to be about love, not about getting something done.
Oh, and my friends threw me a surprise birthday party which I've always wanted! Such a good way to become twenty-four.
Well that was 2007, I grew a lot. I'm hoping this next year will see as much growth without all the crazy drama.
(I'm moving to Mexico in less than four weeks. Yay!)
I almost had my first boyfriend this year. (We practically were, I was just to freaked-out to call it that.) I took him five days to find a new girl after I decided it wasn't going to work and now they're pregnant. My roommate eloped and i helped her. I lived in three different places and one of my friends has been homeless most weeks since august when my sort-of-former-boyfriend got them evicted from their house. Drama.
However, the drama swings both ways. There was the bad but there was also a lot of really good things that happened this year. I think I learned grace, both for myself and for those around me. God did a lot in me this year that freed me in new ways from depression and some of it's effects. I had a huge jump in confidence with people because I worked as a waitress. (I now think that everyone should be a server for at least a few months because of all that you learn about people and yourself and generosity.) I did manage to reconcile every one of my relationships and learned the lessons on forgiveness, grace and humility that come with doing that. I also am part of the MDS which has been amazing and way better than I hoped.
I think I've grown much closer to God. He's reminded me we're still friends often through all the ups and downs. He also spoke clearly to me that He felt cheated because I was (early in the year) only attempting a relationship with Him because everyone expected it and I needed to be close to Him if I was going to pursue the things I felt He called me to. So God wants my friendship more than my usefulness. Like any other friendship it needs to be about love, not about getting something done.
Oh, and my friends threw me a surprise birthday party which I've always wanted! Such a good way to become twenty-four.
Well that was 2007, I grew a lot. I'm hoping this next year will see as much growth without all the crazy drama.
(I'm moving to Mexico in less than four weeks. Yay!)
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