My church is doing a three year study through the whole Bible. We recently finished part 1: Genesis - Exodus. One thing the study focuses on was Israel's tendency to complain and doubt God after all they had seen. When I read thought these books as a kid I would always get frustrated with Israel and think they were really dumb.
However, the more I read through this section of the Bible as an adult, the more I see myself in this faithless complaining. The more cause I have to wonder at the purposes God could have in not instantly granting all my wishes. Or what purpose He could have in giving other people things that He hasn't given me. Does lack hold a secret blessing? Is this also one of the "good and perfect" gifts from God? I wrote a poem about these musings:
Wandering the desert
My whole soul aches
Hungers for something
That I haven't been given
That I can't live without
Complaints churn within
As I wait impatiently
For Your provision
Where is my hunger?
What is my thirst?
What drives me to complaint?
These are my idols
Sin's strongholds and lies
Gripping my heart and mind
Luring me away from real needs
To disposable distractions
Teach me to trust You
To wait when I'm thirsty knowing
That need teaches me hunger
Life's little wants can't fill me
But their absence teaches me longing
Shows my heart only You can satisfy
There's no other for my desperate soul
I will wait in thirst and hunger
Oh Lord bring me to
The only well of Living Water!
The only Bread of Life,
The only Love that can fill me!
You are endless and I am empty
Overflow me till I'm lost in You
Then I can pour on others
The love poured out on me
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2 comments:
I totally thought they were dumb when I was little, too! Then I was like, well wait a minute, they are normal...
Dang it!
Yea, when I first realized I'm just like them - only worse 'cause I have Jesus - I kinda wanted to run somewhere and cry.
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